Garrison Keillor, of “Prairie Home Companion” fame, is an effete intellectual snob.  He has never been funny, he can’t sing, and his homey stories are neither intelligent nor touching.  In fact, generally they are simply sideways put-downs of the down home, Midwestern folks that made him rich.  In addition to all that, he hates conservatives and has created a role for himself as a front man for the far left.  And he does all this with a sense that he is right while the rest of us are not simply wrong, but stupid. 

While Keillor’s arrogance is appalling, his hypocrisy is even more so.  Years ago, he left St. Paul because he was sick of the attention he was receiving from the press.  After all, a guy with a national radio show is a big deal in small town St. Paul.  He ended up in some Scandinavian country and then in New York.  Apparently he got what he wanted in both places…lack of attention.  He was, after all, just a small town guy with a radio show.  So, he moved back to St. Paul and is soaking up as much attention as possible.  He has added to his presence with a leftist newspaper column in the Minneapolis Star Tribune (go figure…a liberal columnist in that paper??!!)

I know I am being subtle so I guess I will have to be clearer.  I despise Garrison Keillor. 

All of these feelings came to a head like a bad pimple this weekend when I read Keillor’s most recent column (6/1/08).  In that column he wrote about the Memorial Day motorcycle rally in Washington D.C.  He was not pleased, partially because he had to stand on the sidewalk for a few minutes to cross as the bikes went by.  He stated: “Three-hundred-thousand bikers spent Memorial Day weekend roaring around Washington in tribute to our war dead…some flying the Stars and Stripes and the black MIA-POW flag, honking, revving their engines, an endless celebration of internal combustion”.

(Recall that the liberal fascists among us do not approve of internal combustion engines.  I am sure his attitude would have been different if this had been 300,000 bicyclists rolling by.)

Keillor went on to say that “A patriotic bike rally is sort of like a patriotic toilet-papering or patriotic graffiti; the patriotism somehow gets lost in the sheer irritation of the thing.  Somehow, a person associates Memorial Day with long moments of silence when you summon up mental images of men huddled together on LSTs and pilots revving up B-24’s and infantrymen crouched behind piles of rubble steeling themselves for the next push.

“You don’t quite see the connection between that and these fat men with ponytails on Harleys.  After hearing a few thousand bikes go by, you think maybe we could airlift these gentlemen to Baghdad to show their support of the troops in a more tangible way.

“…the bikers riding in formation are more interested in being seen than in learning anything.  They are grown men playing soldier, making a great hullaballoo without exposing themselves to danger, other than getting drunk and falling off a bike.”

All of this agitation from Keillor because he had to wait a few minutes to cross the street so that he could look at a painting: “Renoir’s ballerina in pale blue chiffon and Monet’s children in the garden of sunflowers.”

Or IS that the real source of his agitation.  I would argue his real agitation came from seeing thousands of real Americans, patriotic Americans who were celebrating the men and women who have died for this country and who were celebrating America itself!

By the way, Mr. Keillor should have checked his facts before condemning those Americans as “fat men with ponytails on Harleys”.

The ride Keillor is condemning is called Rolling Thunder.  It is an annual motorcycle rally that is held in Washington, DC during the Memorial Day weekend to call for the government's recognition and protection of Prisoners of War (POWs) and those Missing in Action (MIAs). Well over 300,000 veterans participated on their motorcycles as a tribute to American war heroes.  Its founder and director is a veteran:  Sgt. Artie Muller. 

You see, Keillor didn’t mention the fact that MOST of those “fat men” were veterans.  Those with them were family members and supporters.  They HAVE huddled together on LSTs, they HAVE revved up airplanes to enter into air combat, and they HAVE crouched behind piles of rubble steeling themselves for the next battle.  Many now ride motorcycles…many fly the Stars and Stripes, and many fly the MIA-POW flag to show their respect for America and for its soldiers.  I have found no references in biographical materials on Keillor to suggest that he has ever served his country in the military.

Mr. Keillor owes a profound apology to all the men and women who participated in Rolling Thunder.  More importantly, he owes an equally profound apology to every veteran who has ever served this nation.  Keillor is a coward, an effete intellectual coward, who is able to condemn his country because of the freedoms made possible by our military.  I don’t expect this to happen.  But maybe, just maybe it is time for a wake-up call for Mr. Keillor.  Say by about 300,000 motorcycles driving by his house on a Monday morning?